God's Girl

Finding the extraordinary in the ordinary

Trading It All for a Bowl of Stew

on January 14, 2013


Being a woman is tough. There is nothing I would rather be, but still it is not easy. DSC_9376 Some women make it look that way. I wonder how they do it. All I know is that as a woman, I feel all stretched out. Like a rubberband that sometimes gets stretched so thin that it loses control, flies through the air and attacks the nearest person with a mighty sting.

Do you feel the same?

Is it just me?

There are so many opportunities in this life. So many great things to say, “Yes” to.

My heart says, “let’s do it all!”

Time says,”There is not enough of me.”

My body says,”I’m tired just thinking of it all.”

Everyone around me seems to have so many needs, that often I forget my own.

Listening to all these parts of me gets confusing.

Can I trust my heart?

What about my emotions?

Are my perceptions leading me to the right place?

I dream of something, then when it comes, I am no longer sure if it’s what I want.

So many things seem right, but cramming them all into my busy life seems so wrong.

I pray and ask God.

His perception is really the only reality.

I ask Him to be clear. I ask Him to be very,very clear.

I wait, then I wait and I wait some more.

I doubt, then I doubt,  and I doubt some more.

Why? Because I am the kind of girl that needs to be shaken.

I need to be hit by something and hit hard to take action or to stop what I am doing.

I need whatever hits me right between the eyes to have a note attached that says,”Hey April, this is not some random event!! It’s from me!! Love, God.”

I had this happen recently. I asked God to either give me joy in a certain situation or to get me out of it. I was miserable!!

I waited and waited…until it happened, “Wham!”

Not in the way I expected.

Not at all.

It came in the form of a back injury and a confrontation.

Yes, it took that amount of clarity to address something that should have been addressed long ago.

I hope that I learned something.

That back injury healed quickly, but it reminded me that not following God hurts.

My unbelief in who He is and what He is capable of has consequences.

I hope I will just obey God  next time and not constantly question the truth that stares me in the face.

All I know is what He spoke to my heart today.

This will be my verse for the year: “Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisify a short term appetite.”

You can read about Esau in Genesis Chapter 25:20-34. (Basically the man gave away all this rights as the first born son and his inheritance for a bowl of stew.)

How about you?

Is it easy to give it to what stands in front of you instaed of trusting God?

Do you find it hard to know what God wants?

Are you quick to obey or do you need a major push?

Do you have a verse that God is speaking to your heart lately?

Do you have one for the year?

What decision are you facing that requires faith?

Message me on facebook or comment on here and I will pray for/with you.


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